Thinkin’ About Leaving Bars

Performed by Whiskey Wind & The Prairie Boys

Thinkin’ About Leaving Bars – DOWNLOAD

(Verse 1)
Well, I’m stumbling out the door, barely keepin’ my pace,
And here you are, dumbass, with a gun in my face.
You really think you’re hittin’ the jackpot tonight?
I’m a drunk leaving a bar, man, there ain’t no cash, no fight.
You want my money? Good luck with that plan,
All you’re gettin’ is $3.50 and a drunk, broke man.

(Chorus)
I’m leaving a bar, and you’re robbing me now?
If you want to get rich, I’ll show you how.
Rob the guy going in, not stumbling out,
He’s got cash in his pocket and self-doubt.
But you’re standing here, thinking you’re smart,
Only a dumbass robs drunks leaving bars.

(Verse 2)
The only reason you’re getting $3.50, you see,
Is ‘cause the damn beer inside cost me $4.03.
If you’d caught me before I walked through that door,
You’d be swimmin’ in twenties, maybe even more.
But now you’re here lookin’ all tough and mean,
While I’m countin’ change, ain’t got no green.

(Chorus)
I’m leaving a bar, and you’re robbing me now?
If you want to get rich, I’ll show you how.
Rob the guy going in, not stumbling out,
Going in he’s got cash in his pocket and self-doubt.
But you’re standing here, thinking you’re smart,
Only a dumbass robs drunks leaving bars.

(Bridge)
Here’s some solid advice, if you’re so set on robbin’ folks,
Go for the sober ones, “before the bar” wallets.
Catch ‘em fresh with a wallet full of poke,
Not me, leaving broke, smelling like whiskey and smoke.
I tipped my last dollar to the bartender’s smirk,
Now you’re robbing me like it’s your life’s work?

(Verse 3)
Look, pal, this ain’t rocket science or brain surgery,
You want to steal three bits? This robbery’s in jeopardy.
I got nothing but pocket lint; ain’t nothin’ in the tank,
Maybe you’d do better robbing a piggy bank.
So take my 3 bits 50 and be on your way,
‘Cause you ain’t getting rich from me today.

(Chorus)
I’m leaving this bar, and you’re robbing me now?
If you want to get rich, I’ll show you how.
Rob the guy going in, not stumbling out,
He’s got cash in his pocket and self-doubt.
But you’re standing here, thinking you’re smart,
Only a dumbass robs drunks leaving bars.

(Outro)
Yeah, only a dumbass robs drunks leaving bars.
Next time, buddy, just wait for the guy rolling up with a car!
If you want to rob right and fill up your jar,
Catch ‘em sober before they’re leaving the bar!

Dumbass!

Thinkin’ About Leaving Bars – Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger